If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
