she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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