Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i love accidental penises.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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