hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
