Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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