this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.