You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now