This girl is more easily done than said...
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.