I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????