What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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