What did we do last night that was yellow?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
