Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
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I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
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jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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