Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
