I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
