i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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