so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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