dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
