I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
