she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
