THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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