end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
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