glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
