he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
