i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
