DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
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