if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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