is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
