Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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