she looked like the bat from fern gully.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
