She's JV to your varsity
too bad you live with your parents still
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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