one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
