Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I want to be your penis for a week.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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