told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
