i permit you to call me
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Drake has all the answers
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
