i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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