lets start a swedish sibling band together
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
