so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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