I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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