12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
