Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
