does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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