Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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