I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
