Grow some girl-balls and come out already
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
