I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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