oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
