sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
