garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize