He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
