Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
