That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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