Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
my poor anus
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
