I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
