Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
