how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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