fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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