Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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