I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
