you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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