k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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