"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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